I'll return sooner I hope.
So , that's all folk ! , My 4 years in BITS , the Goa campus finally drawing to an end. I thought this would be the day I'd look forward to, free to do what I want , no longer constrained to the BITS system. Never knew it could feel so bad. I cant stop to reminiscence, the onslaught of memories is just too rapid , four years are lost in a blur. Its still not sinking in , there was too much taken for granted, the fresh air and the open spaces not the least among them. John's , Bogmalo will never again be a stone's throw away. The freedom I had here despite all of the restrictions imposed by BITS , that freedom is something I'll never find at home. Wonder where my PS is going to be. The uncertainity is killing me.
Goa made me who I am , brought me up from an insecure seventeen year old who cried when her parents left , to someone who is now ready to face anything thats in store be it the recession or ramans grading.
I have stopped identifying with my cast or regional community , When people tell me i am a malayali nair , it means nothing to me, you might as well tell me that I dropped in from Mars. Being with this colorful mixture of India has erased the boundaries in me. My perspectives have changed. Its in places like these that Tagore's "narrow domestic walls" are indeed broken.
As I step out into the real world again I wonder, If I'll be able to retain the core values that I acquired in BITS, leave aside my prejudices, not just about people but also about social norms, tradition , moral rights and wrongs.
I have learnt that tradition sometimes is just a fake sense of pride and ill deserved honor bestowed to a mistake made many times, over generations, repeated by the young cos it was done by the old. Innovation is needed just as much in the social sphere as in the scientific. The resistance is just much greater when it comes to the social.
While I havent lost my belief in God , I have come to appreciate atheism. Learnt that faith opposes reason. Learnt the hard way , to be myself , to be who I am , irrespective of what is thought by those still rooted in ancient social conditioning.
I have acquired interests in particular fields , a desire to build a career in business analytics.
My love for the written word has also intensified . Journalism , another love acquired in BITS.
About the people I met , the friends i've made , I can go on endlessly. Mainly though , strong friendships can be maintained only with adequate personal space and mutual respect for certain boundaries, four years on the same campus with the same folk has taught me that.
How many of the beliefs will I carry with me ? How much of the knowledge will I build on ? How many of my friends will I retain? I'll have to wait and watch.
Right now , I need to step out, Its Goa calling !! :)
